Last updated on July 8th, 2019

How happy are you? Are you flourishing? Do you have a deep sense of well-being? Aristotle wrote, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim, and end of human existence.”

Also, the right to the “pursuit of happiness” is ingrained in us through the Declaration of Independence. Although as Ben Franklin allegedly said, “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.”

What is Happiness?

But what is happiness, and is it attainable? I have always liked the idea expressed by the poet and philosopher, Nathaniel Hawthorne that, “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Thus, happiness is not a goal in itself, but perhaps a side effect of other meaningful, goal-directed activity.

I prefer the words “flourishing” and “well-being” to the word “happiness.” Researchers assessing happiness tend to ask the simple question, “How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?” To me, this implies that happiness is simple and one dimensional. As a workplace psychologist and executive coach, it has always been my mission to help people live rich, fulfilling lives. To be sure, happiness is a part of this, but well-being and flourishing involve so much more.

In this post, I will explain a little about the science of well-being and provide some evidence-based tips for flourishing and increasing happiness. The research of Dr. Martin Seligman and other positive psychologists teaches us a lot about what real well-being involves. Here are some tips from Dr. Seligman’s model.

How to Increase Well-Being

1. Increase Positive Emotions

Cultivate optimism; you don’t have to be a “Pollyanna” to find ways to tame those negative messages. These messages are our brain’s way of trying to protect us from disappointment and disaster, but they prevent us much of the time from living fully.

Research suggests that to flourish, we need to look for opportunities to increase positive emotions by savoring our pleasures and amplifying our good feelings. We often try to decrease our negative emotions by decreasing worry or irritation, which is important. However, we don’t often look for where we will find more joy or how to find more fun.

2. Be Fully Present More Often

We also become happier when we are actively engaged. When we are engaged fully in what we are doing time passes without awareness, whether it be having a conversation, playing tennis, or cooking a meal. Full engagement means being fully present, not distracted with our smartphones, Facebook, etc. At these times, we are “in the zone” or more specifically an idealized state of “flow” that is associated with greater happiness and well-being. While no one is in flow all the time (our minds wander about 50% of the time), we want to be present more often for optimal well-being.

3. Nurture Relationships

Research clearly shows that our relationships are the most critical factor contributing to happiness and well-being. Quality counts much more than quantity. Being admired or popular has little real benefit for authentic happiness. Being close to others whom we can count on for emotional and practical support and with whom we can laugh and break bread is vital. Practice kindness; it increases your well-being and that of others (the “pay-it-forward” concept has been found in hard research to be very real).

4. Cultivate Meaning and Purpose

Identify your core values and do your best to live in integrity with these values every day. Finding a sense of purpose in life is very important for a rich, fulfilling life. Figure out what matters most and look for opportunities to enact this daily. For example, my top value is “connection,” so I look for opportunities to live this value, whether in person, by email, or even while driving. Develop a sense of purpose–what you want your life to stand for. Additionally, research shows a huge benefit for the daily or weekly practice of expressing gratitude or blessings.

5. Work to Accomplish Goals that Are Personally Meaningful to You

Finally, we are more fulfilled and happy when we achieve goals that are important to us. While endlessly pursuing achievement out of a sense of perfectionism is unhealthy, dedicating yourself to the accomplishment of important goals, whether they be personal or professional, definitely adds to a sense of well-being.

Conclusion

In sum, evidence strongly supports the fact that happiness matters; it’s not just hype or “pie-in-the-sky.” A meta-analysis of 300 studies with over 275,000 people found that people with good mood and increased happiness lived longer, had better health, happier marriages and made more money. Ultimately, however, happiness may be a side effect of many other purposeful behaviors and actions. Such practices play a huge role in our overall sense of well-being and are skills we can all build.

I wish for you flourishing and well-being this summer. Please leave a comment to let me know how it is going for you!